


I Was Just More Like Real Life

by orphan_account



Series: 2003 au thingie [1]
Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: 2000s, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Short, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:47:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22565788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's early when John realizes he can't stay.
Relationships: John Lennon/Paul McCartney
Series: 2003 au thingie [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1645309
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	I Was Just More Like Real Life

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the song Father by the front bottoms
> 
> takes place during 2003

_I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat_  
_And he is screaming and crying for help_  
_And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him_  
_Than it ever did protecting myself_

John wakes up with sweat seeping through his night shirt and his hair matted to his head. His father's screams still echoing in his brain.

He looks around his room, the moon illuminating the posters hanging on his wall.

It's 2am when he leaves his house and walks to Paul's.

Paul is awoken by the sound of tapping coming from his window. He gets up to find John right up against the glass, his skin pale, his hands trembling. He opens the window and John crawls in silently.

"Hello, what're you doing up so late?" Paul asks quietly.

John looks up at him and winces, his head still throbbing from yesterday. He feels a pair of warm, soft hands caress his cheeks, lifting his face up slightly, "Your father do that?"

Paul traces the large, purple mark around John's cheek bone, pressing down lightly, making John hiss, "Sorry," Paul lets go.

"No, no, it's ok," John reassures him, taking Paul's hands into his own, noticing their differences. Paul's are delicate and clean, his nails bitten down to the nub, while his own are big and littered with bruises, dirt under his nails.

John looks back up at Paul, "Y-Yeah, he did," he answers, "But it doesn't matter," lifting his hand to Paul's neck, running it up and down.

Paul doesn't respond, but he does press his lips against John's carefully, then to his bruised cheek. John hums, "You look good tonight," he sighs, Paul smiles and guides John to his small bed, "You can sleep in my bed."

They lay there for a few minutes, watching each other, staring into each other's eyes. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning..well...in the morning," John starts, moving to stare at the ceiling.

It's quiet for a little while, until Paul lifts his body onto his elbow, looking at John with furrowed brows, his face startled, "What? What do you mean?" John lifts himself too, looking right at Paul, then he kisses him again, this one more heated than the first.

"I had a dream where I killed my dad," John states flatly, his face relaxed, "And I realized that I can't take it here anymore. I can't keep going on like this."

John notices Paul's wet eyes and quivering lip, "You're a fantasy Paulie, like-like high school, but...this is real life and I can't do it." John's voice cracks and Paul brushes their noses together, "P-Please," Paul's shaking.

"I'm leaving as soon as I can, a-and I wanted to tell you in person, wanted you to know now," He presses their heads together and closes his eyes, "You'll probably forget my name," John let's out a nervous laugh. Paul shakes his head, runs his hands through John's hair, "That's not true, I would never. Don't say that."

Paul strokes John's face, "Please don't leave me, I-I couldn't bear it," brushing his lips over John's chin and nose and eyes, "I love you." Paul weeps. And tears fall down John's face. "I love you too."

John lays Paul down and kisses his jaw, marking his neck, biting his collar bone. They take it slow and gentle, making love as they both snivel and cry.

Paul's lips are soft and plump when John kisses him as they climax. His moans are sweet and sexy. His body smooth and slim. He's beautiful.

They're holding each other close afterwards.

"I did whatever he wanted, 'cause of you." Paul looks at John quizzically, "I did what he asked because I wanted to stay with you. Thought that if I could handle it, I would handle it for you," John elaborated, smiling sadly at Paul.

Paul doesn't smile, instead, he nuzzles his nose into the crook of John's neck, inhaling his musky scent.

"Then I'll leave with you. I'll do it for you," Paul breathes, "I'll do it for you."

John tells him he can't leave his dad and his brother, tells him that it wouldn't be fair to them, "T-This," he motions between them, "Isn't going to last, a-and I don't want to hold you back," Paul pulls John closer, "But, I love you..Won't that last?"

"I want to be as free as a bird, an eagle. You won't be free with me."

John doesn't continue further and forces Paul to sleep as he stares at the window.

When Paul wakes up at 9, John is gone, the window is open, and when he gets up to look out of it, there's a note.

_'When I'm gone, can I stay inside your head? I love you.'_

And Paul goes back to bed.


End file.
